It's What You Think (When You Think About Cheating) by Robin Romm

Author:Robin Romm [Romm, Robin]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Shebooks
Published: 2014-08-06T00:00:00+00:00

The high school does not allow Christmas decorations. Parents have protested. So instead, the school counselors have hung pink tinsel above all the lockers. Every few feet, a yellow metallic sign says: Happy Holidays! It’s supposed to be inclusive, but the colors are just weird.

Shalem sees Maya Donoghue without Forest Parker. Maya looks straight at her, brazenly. Shalem nods, then feels too curt, so raises her hand to wave. Maya has already turned away.

Rudolfo’s in the break room, eating carrot cake.

“Hey,” he says.

She wondered what it would be like, her first encounter with him today, but she slips right into it, the easy magnetism. He points to a page of the weekly paper.

She glances at it; a ferret-hoarding bust. Rudolfo sets a square of carrot cake in front of her.

What is it about watching him chew that makes her feel like this, like she could set her head down on his shoulder? That makes her feel that if she did that, he would simply reach over and, without needing anything in return, hold her?

She was 23 when she met Bruce. They were doing trail work in the Eastern Sierras. A few years older than she and a crew leader, Bruce was a know-it-all when it came to the work, the tools, the disposal of branches, the way to build a fire. She thought he was one of those guys from the east that you found out west: a civilized blowhard. But a few days in, on a routine provisions run, they turned off at a trail to a hot spring. And when they undressed, two miles from the road in the moonlight, she admired the ropes and knots of his muscles.

They slept together on a pile of clothes in the dirt, the smell of miner’s misery drifting down the mountain. He loved her instantly with a stray animal’s devotion. She found it irresistible, necessary—the tight way he held her.

And she has, from the outside, a tidy life—the routines and rituals that supposedly brought comfort, fulfillment, safety. The morning coffee, shared bagels, weekend hikes, dinner parties. She has everything, doesn’t she? Except maybe children, no kids to get chocolate pudding on her blouse. But that’s not what’s missing. Is it? Is something missing?

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